8 to get married

The late Princess Diana thought three people in a marriage "made it a bit crowded," but in the United States, a radical feminist, Elizabeth Joseph, a lawyer and featured speaker at a National Organization Of Women (NOW) meeting, bragged about being the fifth wife of Alex Joseph of Big Water, Utah, who has eight wives.

With polygamy she boasts that her eight-year- old son "has never seen the inside of a daycare centre." With eight women and the 20 children that Alex has sired all living together - he is in a daycare centre. (He just doesn't have to go home at night).

Although never legally married to Alex for the past 23 years - Elizabeth describes her 1/8th marriage as "the ultimate in feminist lifestyle" because it allows her more liberty to do what she likes. She complains that "there are not a lot of men worth marrying" so it's better if many good women marry the same man. All I can say about Alex is, he's got to be one of the best salesman in Big Water, Utah. I was anxious to meet him. And I sure hoped that he was making enough money to support eight cars.

Before our readers jump to any conclusions, Alex is not a Mormon. Which brought up another point. I wondered why Alex hadn't been changed with bigamy? Or polygamy? Or being crazy? Can you have legally simultaneously eight common-law wives?

The pro-abortion NOW Utah chapter spokeswoman said that she could see no reason not to support polygamy because NOW already supports lesbian families - single parent families and same-sex families. It's hard to find the high ground with NOW.

Maybe the U.S. Supreme Court is afraid that if they rule against Alex - that polygamy is a crime - as much as is bigamy, which is already on the books - and threw Alex in jail - what would happen to Alex's wives who don't work outside the home - and those 20 kids?

Let NOW pay the bill

If Alex drops dead tomorrow, I thought, and doesn't have a Bill Gates estate - Big Water, Utah, is going to have a whopper of a welfare bill. The obvious answer is to send the bills to NOW. It's their new flag they're waving - let them pay for it.

To clear up a few points I decided to hustle down to Big Water, Utah, and interview Alex. The unassuming gentleman who answered the door of the sprawling farm house which had so many cars parked around it - I thought it was a used car lot - said that if I was from the IRS (Internal Revenue Service) the FBI or was the new pastor of the Pentecostal Church in town - I would have to talk to his lawyer who charged $175 an hour.

I assured him that I wasn't - that I was just a writer trying to flesh out a human interest story on a brave man who was willing to take on eight wives and 20 children. It was then the frazzled looking man at the door became downright chatty.

"Eight wives ain't the problem. Bud, it's eight mothers-in-law. Every time I see a horde of them drive up in their cars, I'm sorry I sold the trailer."

"Do you ever forget the names of your kids?"

"Yeah, but 'Hey, you!' gets their attention."

"What's going to happen to your wives and children if you drop dead or are shot by a jealous husband?"

"Listen, Bud, are you crazy? They're about 25 guys in town who'd want to take over my job."

Trying to display my disgust, I asked him: "What about religion? Don't you think that you've done anything wrong 'marrying' all these women?"

"Compared to some of those old Biblical characters I've read about in the Good Book - I'm just a piker."

"Aren't you afraid of someday being charged with bigamy or polygamy?"

"Nay. The last time the town sheriff tried to arrest me - my wives told him what they knew about him - and he wasn't interested in arresting anybody after that. 'Sides, I'm a bit of a folk hero around here."

"You are?!" I said.

"I'm credited with - singlehandedly - saving the only baby food products firm here in Big Water.

"They're thinkin' of puttin' a statue of me out in front of the City Hall. Nuff of this braggin. Bud, you interrupted me washing a ton of nappies.

"Please don't write anything about me - I'm liable to end up with another eight wives."