QUESTION: I'm beginning to recognize a "blind spot" in my attitude toward my wife. I have always felt that I had done my job as a husband if I provided adequately for my family's financial needs, and if I was faithful to her. But am I also responsible to help meet her emotional needs?

DR. DOBSON: That's right, especially today when homemakers are being subjected to ridicule and scorn. Hardly a day passes when values of motherhood are not mocked and undermined.

The notion that motherhood is a worthwhile investment of a woman's time suffers unrelenting bombardment.

The concept that a man and a woman should find their identity in each other, rather than as separate and competing individuals, is said to be intolerably insulting to women.

The belief that divorce is an unacceptable alternative has been abandoned by practically everybody.

The role of the female as helpmate, bread baker, wound patcher, love giver, home builder and child bearer is nothing short of disgusting.

All of these deeply ingrained values, which many of today's homemakers are trying desperately to sustain, are continually exposed to ridicule. And the women who believe in those values are virtually hanging by their thumbs! They are made to feel stupid and old-fashioned and unfulfilled, and in many cases, their self-esteem is suffering irreparable damage. They are fighting a sweeping social movement with very little support from anyone.

Let me say it more directly. For the man who appreciates the willingness of his wife to stand against the tide of public opinion - staying at home in her empty neighborhood in the exclusive company of jelly-faced toddlers and strong-willed adolescents - it is about time her husband gave her some help.

I'm not merely suggesting that you wash the dishes or sweep the floor. I'm referring to the provision of emotional support ... of conversation .. of making her feel like a lady ... of building her ego ... of giving her one day of recreation each week ... of taking her out to dinner ... of telling her that you love her. Without these armaments, she is left defenceless against the foes of the family - and foes of your family.

QUESTION: I have observed that elementary school and junior high school students, even high schoolers, tend to admire teachers who are more strict. Is this your experience as well?

DR. DOBSON: Yes, teachers who maintain order are often the most respected members of the faculty, provided they aren't mean and grouchy. A teacher who can control a class without being oppressive is almost always loved by his or her students.

One reason is that there is safety and order. When a class is out of control, particularly at the elementary school level, the children are afraid of each other.

If the teacher can't make the class behave, how can he prevent a bully from doing his thing? How can he keep the students from ridiculing one of their less able members? Children are not very fair and understanding with each other, and they feel good about having a strong teacher who is.

Second, children love justice. When someone has violated a rule, they want immediate retribution. They admire the teacher who can enforce an equitable system, and they find great comfort in reasonable social rules. By contrast, the teacher who does not control his class inevitably allows crime to pay, violating something basic in the value system of children.

Third, children admire strict teachers because chaos is nerve-racking. Screaming, hitting and wiggling are fun for about 10 minutes; then the confusion begins to get tiresome and irritating.

I have smiled in amusement many times as second-and third-grade children astutely evaluated the relative disciplinary skills of their teachers. They know how a class should be conducted. I only wish all of their teachers were equally aware of this important attribute.

These questions and answers are excerpted from the book Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions. Dr. James Dobson is a psychologist, author and president of Focus on the Family, a nonprofit organization dedicated to the preservation of the home. Correspondence to Dr. Dobson should be addressed to: Focus on the Family, P. O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, CO 80903. (c), 1982, Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.