Ask him if he knows what it is that his "friends" don't like. (He may be causing their reaction by dominance, selfishness or dishonesty). Be understanding and sympathetic. As soon as appropriate, involve yourself with him in a game or some other activity that he will enjoy. Finally, set about resolving the underlying cause.

I suggest you ask your child to invite one of his school friends to the zoo on a Saturday (or some other attractive "bait") and then spend the night at your house.

Genuine friendship often grows from such beginnings. Even the hostile children on the block may be more kind when only one of them is invited at a time. Not only can you help your child make friends this way, but you can also observe the social mistakes he is making to drive them away.
 

QUESTION: Would you describe the physical changes that occur with the aging process?
 
DR. DOBSON: The decline in old age is not just a sudden deterioration of all systems at the same level and the same time. There is an order of deterioration under normal circumstances. That is, if there is not some disease factor that changes it. This is the normal process of aging.

The first thing to diminish is the perceptual or sensory contact with the outside world. The lens of the eye loses its ability to contract and focus. So we wear bifocals to give us both distance and close vision. Cataracts further damage clarity of vision in some cases.

The conduction of sound is lessened by a wearing away of the three little bones in the ear. So we don't hear quite as well as before. Higher pitches are the first to go; then we lose perception at the lower ranges of sound. The taste buds in the mouth and tongue atrophy, so nothing tastes quite as good as it did previously. There is not the joy in eating that we once had.

The sense of smell is diminished which also makes food less tasty because much of the satisfaction in eating is derived from its pleasant odour.

There is a dryness and hardening of the skin which decreases the sense of touch. So all five senses diminish and become less capable of detecting information and relaying it to the brain.

Later, we experience a change in motor activity - the ability to move efficiently. Lack of fingertip control is the first loss we notice, followed by less dexterity of the hand, then wrist, elbow and shoulder. The lessening of coordination moves from the extremities to the centre of the body. That's why shaky writing of an older person reveals his or her age.

Next, changes take place in the cardiovascular system. the fat in and around the heart forces it to work harder to accomplish the same purpose. When a person over exerts, it takes a longer time to return to his normal rate of circulation. A gradual stiffening of the arteries also adds to the cardiac strain. cholesterol collects int he arteries and constricts the flow of blood which can lead to heart attacks, strokes and other cardiovascular disorders.

Furthermore, the autonomic nervous system no longer regulates the body's processes as efficiently, which exacerbates such problems as poor circulation.

Reproductive activity ceases at about 45 years of age in women and 50 or 60 years in men. Life no longer trusts us with its most precious gift of procreation.

To summarize: These are the major areas of change that occur in the process of aging. First, we experience perceptual deterioration. Second, the body undergoes a motor deterioration, that is physical changes relating to movement. If life continues beyond that point, a decline in mental alertness must occur.

These questions and answers are excerpted from the book Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions. Dr. James Dobson is a psychologist, author and president of Focus on the Family, a nonprofit organization dedicated to the preservation of the home. Correspondence to Dr. Dobson should be addressed to: Focus on the Family, P. O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, CO 80903. (c), 1982, Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.