Joe Campbell

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The ultimate euphemism

Light is Right Joe Campbell “Yes,” Dingwall said, “I’m speaking out. I’ve reached the point where I can remain silent no longer.” I was taken aback. Dingwall is the last person I would have accused of not speaking out. “To preserve my sanity,” he said, “I have no choice but to admit that I’m abused.” “Abused?” I repeated, startled. “Not verbally, emotionally, psychologically, physically or sexually. I’m abused intellectually. ... (Continue reading)

Vested interests

Light is Right Joe Campbell “They considered the science settled,” Dingwall said. “On global warming?” I asked. “On global immobility,” he replied. “In the seventeenth century, influential academics insisted that the earth is the immovable centre of the universe and the sun orbits it. That’s why they rejected Galileo, who asserted the opposite.” “It sounds a lot like today,” I said, “when influential academics insist that, because of human ... (Continue reading)

Name game

Light is Right Joe Campbell Yes, in answer to the musical question, I know what it means to miss New Orleans. In 1981, while holidaying there, I sat in on trumpet with two jazz bands at the Famous Door. Not simultaneously. Successively. Simultaneously would have been understandable, as no one knew what to expect from me. Successively was inexcusable, as everyone knew what to expect the second ... (Continue reading)

Inconsistency

Light is Right Joe Campbell Inconsistency always amuses me. It’s one of the funniest elements of humour. The sayings of Yogi Berra are consistently inconsistent. That’s why we laugh at them. That’s why we ought to laugh at the sayings of progressives. They are consistently inconsistent, too. When Yogi Berra says things like “Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded,” I laugh until I cry. When progressives ... (Continue reading)

Where ignorance is blessed

Light is Right Joe Campbell “It’s a creative approach to saving souls,” Dingwall said. “What is?” I asked. “Invincible ignorance,” Dingwall replied. Although we often talked about Church teaching, this was the first time he had mentioned invincible ignorance. “I’m not sure I understand,” I said. “Invincible ignorance is a deficiency of knowledge that you can’t reasonably overcome and consequently are not responsible for,” he explained. “I know what it means,” I ... (Continue reading)

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Our place in the sun

Light is Right Joe Campbell From time to time, federal politicians fantasize about inviting the Turks and Caicos Islands to join Canada. I don’t share that dream. I fantasize about inviting Canada to join the Turks and Caicos Islands. If all we want is to hang out in the Caribbean without going through customs, it doesn’t much matter who annexes whom. But I want more than that. ... (Continue reading)

Heavy turbulence

Light is Right Joe Campbell “I suppose you’ve heard,” Molder said, “that the airlines are buying lighter planes.” “Lighter than what?” Bimsom asked, as dangling comparatives irritate him. “Lighter than they used to be,” Molder said. “What’s wrong with darker planes?” Bimsom asked. “It’s not about hue,” Molder said. “It’s about weight. For every pound they reduce the weight of their planes, the airlines say they save up to $60 ... (Continue reading)

Mad pride

Light is Right Joe Campbell My editor had got me an exclusive interview with Professor Hans Bunglethorpe. “I’ve never heard of Professor Bunglethorpe,” I said. “Of course, you haven’t,” he replied. “Nobody has. You’ll be the first reporter he has agreed to talk to. Once you’ve broken the story, everyone will have heard of him.” “Everyone?” “He’s made a landmark discovery. He’ll be drowning in publicity” “It sounds like a ... (Continue reading)

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Miraculous journalism

Light is Right Joe Campbell They say that the age of miracles is past. I don’t believe them. No sooner had Pope Francis begun his pontificate than we witnessed a miracle of the first order. I don’t mean the angelic cloud that appeared in the Florida sky. I mean the new Pope’s progressive youthfulness. Shortly after the papal election, a Canadian TV commentator announced that Pope Francis ... (Continue reading)

Dollars and sense

Light is Right Joe Campbell As a child, I learned that bills and coins make a financial statement. They declare a cash value. As an adult, I learned that they also make a policy statement. They reveal a partisan position. Besides purchasing power, they represent political power. Money doesn’t talk. It cheers. Less than a year after the Bank of Canada issued it, our first polymer bill sparked a political ... (Continue reading)

Crazy

Light is Right Joe Campbell I used to believe that to sell books, you needed catchy titles. I was wrong. I can think of few titles less catchy than Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Even the short version, DSM, doesn’t qualify as catchy. And yet this publication of the American Psychiatric Association is a best seller, popular both at home and abroad. Now in its fourth edition, the ... (Continue reading)

Unnatural law

Light is Right Joe Campbell I don’t have a supple mind. Unlike some highly trained professionals, I can’t abide contradictions. When a British Columbia judge ruled that the right to life can also mean the right to death, I realized how inflexible my non-professional intellect is. I couldn’t hand down a ruling like that. Of course, I couldn’t. I’m not a judge. But even if I were a Supreme Court ... (Continue reading)

Sense and nonsense

Light is Right Joe Campbell I feel like a fool when someone says there are no absolutes. It’s not that I can’t bring myself to respond. I can and I do. It’s just that I feel foolish contradicting something that contradicts itself. To insist on no absolutes is to concede a least one. So it seems a foolish waste of time refuting what is already refuted. I feel the same ... (Continue reading)

Send in the clowns

Light is Right Joe Campbell I don’t understand feminism. Really I don’t. Although I’ve had it explained to me a number of times, I still don’t get it. Oh, I’m making progress, but it’s slow. I was impressed when feminists said that women who serve in combat have to risk their lives for strangers. But I was puzzled when they said that women who conceive don’t have to risk their ... (Continue reading)

Let them go

Light is Right Joe Campbell Sadly, a Québécois spring seems increasingly unlikely. I say sadly, because I can’t help feeling sorry for Francophones who want Quebec to leave Canada. For a mainly French province in a largely English country the frustration is never ending. Look what happens when unilingual Francophones go grocery shopping. They’re searching for haricots rouges, fromage râpé, and miel en crème, but because of the perverse placement of ... (Continue reading)

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