Joe Campbell

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Offside

Light is Right Joe Campbell He told me that we shouldn’t discuss politics because I’m on the right and he’s on the left. “I don’t enjoy talking with someone who’s on the wrong side of history,” he explained. “The wrong side?” I declared, taken aback. “You just acknowledged that I’m on the right.” “I’m on the right,” he replied, “because I’m on the left.” Since I first heard it, ... (Continue reading)

Put them all together they spell trouble

Light is Right Joe Campbell Yes, I’ve heard the arguments against re-defining marriage to include same-sex couples. I know that, legally, it eliminates the only civil institution that unites children with their biological parents. I’m aware that it reduces marriage to the level of liaisons that lack procreative potential. I recognize that it views families as socially constructed units based on choice, rather than natural communities ... (Continue reading)

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All creatures great and small

Light is Right Joe Campbell Church attendance of Britons has been falling for decades. The news is not all negative, however. Church attendance of bats is rising. Bats, it seems, are more committed to Christian churches than Britons are faithful to Christianity. Bats go to church because modernization has reduced their natural habitats. Britons don’t go because modernism has undermined their supernatural beliefs. Conservationists work hard to ... (Continue reading)

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Death of dignity

Light is Right Joe Campbell I get the impression that the phrase “doctor-assisted dying” is becoming a media favourite. Don’t journalists know that we’ve been dying unassisted since time immemorial? We don’t need help dying. It comes natural to us. If anything, we need help living. I thought that’s what doctors were for. Doctor-assisted living, I understand. Doctors routinely help us stay alive when, left to our own ... (Continue reading)

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Babel

Babel

I didn’t really mean it. Honest I didn’t. I was only fooling when I suggested that Canada make aboriginal languages official. I never dreamt that anyone would take seriously what I wrote in The Great Canadian Comedy, a 2008 collection of essays. If not the book, I thought that at least the title betrayed a humorous intent. Nevertheless, seven years later, Perry Bellegarde, Chief of the Assembly of First Nations, called for ... (Continue reading)

On the Pill

Light is Right Joe Campbell The pill – you know the one – may be better at preventing conception in fish than in people. What’s more, the fish don’t need a prescription. They get the pill’s synthetic estrogen from sewage that municipalities discharge into rivers and lakes. By feminizing males, the synthetic hormone can limit fish reproduction to the point of collapse. Now that’s performance. It vastly ... (Continue reading)

Digital darkness

Light is Right Joe Campbell My latest laptop, the snooty MacBook Pro that distains communicating with its elders, had a nervous breakdown recently. “Well,” I said, when I took it to the Apple store for repairs, “it serves you right. You treated my beloved Macintosh SE despicably. Now it’s your turn to suffer.” I haven’t yet got over the shock of discovering that the new computer refused to ... (Continue reading)

Everybody wins

Light is Right Joe Campbell Military medals fascinate me. Not just their metallic luster and multi-coloured ribbons, but their number and variety. When I see a chest full of overlapping medals, I can’t resist counting them. So far, I’ve counted seventeen in a row, although I suspect I may have missed some. What fascinates me most is how the bearers of all that hardware can stand at ... (Continue reading)

Left vs. right

Light is Right Joe Campbell When a Harvard University study found that left-handers are economically worse off than right-handers, I was dismayed. Not because I’m a left-hander. Because I’m a right-hander. If history is any guide, the media-academic complex and the judicial magisterium will blame me for the disparity. That’s what happened when feminists and champions of racial and sexual minorities pleaded their disabilities. Being male, white, and heterosexual ... (Continue reading)

Wandering words

Light is Right Joe Campbell He told me that when Rome fell in June 1944, his father cried Veni, vidi, vici in a crowd of revelers. “Your father had a speech impediment?” I asked. “Veni, vidi, vici is Latin for I came, I saw, I conquered,” he replied. “My father helped liberate Rome in World War II.” He noted that after winning the Battle of Zela, Julius Caesar wrote Veni, vidi, vici in a ... (Continue reading)

Out of Sync

Light is Right Joe CampbellBecause it evolves, I keep a close eye on language. I know that dainty used to mean substantial and pretty once meant sly. I also know that brave can be a synonym for showy. So I wasn’t surprised that progressives called male athlete Bruce Jenner a hero for identifying as female and white activist Rachel Dolezal a poseur for identifying as ... (Continue reading)

Judges

Joe Campbell I think I’ve figured out why our top judges are allowing physician-assisted suicide. It’s about restitution. Years ago, they took away our right to birth. Now, they’re making up for it by giving us a right to death. It’s the latest thing in restorative justice. Oh, I suppose they could have made restitution by giving us back the right to birth, but that would have gone against legal precedent. ... (Continue reading)

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Love and hate

Light is Right Joe Campbell While reading, I often stop to meditate, and not just on sacred texts like the Bible and the Catechism. I also meditate on secular texts like the Constitution and the Criminal Code. Usually, the sacred uplift me. Too often, the secular depress me. I found especially depressing a Supreme Court of Canada text entitled Saskatchewan vs. Whatcott. The David and Goliath narrative ... (Continue reading)

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Deconstructing the deconstructionists

Deconstructing the deconstructionists

Joe Campbell Liberalism is a smiley-faced demolition project – in a purely positive, hopey-changey sense of the word “demolition,” that is. Since the innumerable “social constructs” that litter the highway of history are impediments to human progress, the time has come to clear them out of the way. Margaret Mead taught us that patriarchy was a social construct. According to moral relativists, right and wrong are social constructs. Recently ... (Continue reading)

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Indigestible

Light is Right Joe Campbell I’m a victim of textual harassment. Texts that pressure me to buy, subscribe, donate, bequeath, support, upgrade, downsize, respond and beware invade my snail and electronic mail boxes daily. Not only do they pressure me to change my life. They hassle me to plan my death. It’s more than I can stand, especially as radio and TV hucksters harass me ... (Continue reading)

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