Joe Campbell

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All creatures great and small

Light is Right Joe Campbell Church attendance of Britons has been falling for decades. The news is not all negative, however. Church attendance of bats is rising. Bats, it seems, are more committed to Christian churches than Britons are faithful to Christianity. Bats go to church because modernization has reduced their natural habitats. Britons don’t go because modernism has undermined their supernatural beliefs. Conservationists work hard to ... (Continue reading)

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Death of dignity

Light is Right Joe Campbell I get the impression that the phrase “doctor-assisted dying” is becoming a media favourite. Don’t journalists know that we’ve been dying unassisted since time immemorial? We don’t need help dying. It comes natural to us. If anything, we need help living. I thought that’s what doctors were for. Doctor-assisted living, I understand. Doctors routinely help us stay alive when, left to our own ... (Continue reading)

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I didn’t really mean it. Honest I didn’t. I was only fooling when I suggested that Canada make aboriginal languages official. I never dreamt that anyone would take seriously what I wrote in The Great Canadian Comedy, a 2008 collection of essays. If not the book, I thought that at least the title betrayed a humorous intent. Nevertheless, seven years later, Perry Bellegarde, Chief of the Assembly of First Nations, called for ... (Continue reading)

On the Pill

Light is Right Joe Campbell The pill – you know the one – may be better at preventing conception in fish than in people. What’s more, the fish don’t need a prescription. They get the pill’s synthetic estrogen from sewage that municipalities discharge into rivers and lakes. By feminizing males, the synthetic hormone can limit fish reproduction to the point of collapse. Now that’s performance. It vastly ... (Continue reading)

Digital darkness

Light is Right Joe Campbell My latest laptop, the snooty MacBook Pro that distains communicating with its elders, had a nervous breakdown recently. “Well,” I said, when I took it to the Apple store for repairs, “it serves you right. You treated my beloved Macintosh SE despicably. Now it’s your turn to suffer.” I haven’t yet got over the shock of discovering that the new computer refused to ... (Continue reading)

Everybody wins

Light is Right Joe Campbell Military medals fascinate me. Not just their metallic luster and multi-coloured ribbons, but their number and variety. When I see a chest full of overlapping medals, I can’t resist counting them. So far, I’ve counted seventeen in a row, although I suspect I may have missed some. What fascinates me most is how the bearers of all that hardware can stand at ... (Continue reading)

Left vs. right

Light is Right Joe Campbell When a Harvard University study found that left-handers are economically worse off than right-handers, I was dismayed. Not because I’m a left-hander. Because I’m a right-hander. If history is any guide, the media-academic complex and the judicial magisterium will blame me for the disparity. That’s what happened when feminists and champions of racial and sexual minorities pleaded their disabilities. Being male, white, and heterosexual ... (Continue reading)

Wandering words

Light is Right Joe Campbell He told me that when Rome fell in June 1944, his father cried Veni, vidi, vici in a crowd of revelers. “Your father had a speech impediment?” I asked. “Veni, vidi, vici is Latin for I came, I saw, I conquered,” he replied. “My father helped liberate Rome in World War II.” He noted that after winning the Battle of Zela, Julius Caesar wrote Veni, vidi, vici in a ... (Continue reading)

Out of Sync

Light is Right Joe CampbellBecause it evolves, I keep a close eye on language. I know that dainty used to mean substantial and pretty once meant sly. I also know that brave can be a synonym for showy. So I wasn’t surprised that progressives called male athlete Bruce Jenner a hero for identifying as female and white activist Rachel Dolezal a poseur for identifying as ... (Continue reading)


Joe Campbell I think I’ve figured out why our top judges are allowing physician-assisted suicide. It’s about restitution. Years ago, they took away our right to birth. Now, they’re making up for it by giving us a right to death. It’s the latest thing in restorative justice. Oh, I suppose they could have made restitution by giving us back the right to birth, but that would have gone against legal precedent. ... (Continue reading)

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Love and hate

Light is Right Joe Campbell While reading, I often stop to meditate, and not just on sacred texts like the Bible and the Catechism. I also meditate on secular texts like the Constitution and the Criminal Code. Usually, the sacred uplift me. Too often, the secular depress me. I found especially depressing a Supreme Court of Canada text entitled Saskatchewan vs. Whatcott. The David and Goliath narrative ... (Continue reading)

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Deconstructing the deconstructionists

Deconstructing the deconstructionists

Joe Campbell Liberalism is a smiley-faced demolition project – in a purely positive, hopey-changey sense of the word “demolition,” that is. Since the innumerable “social constructs” that litter the highway of history are impediments to human progress, the time has come to clear them out of the way. Margaret Mead taught us that patriarchy was a social construct. According to moral relativists, right and wrong are social constructs. Recently ... (Continue reading)

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Light is Right Joe Campbell I’m a victim of textual harassment. Texts that pressure me to buy, subscribe, donate, bequeath, support, upgrade, downsize, respond and beware invade my snail and electronic mail boxes daily. Not only do they pressure me to change my life. They hassle me to plan my death. It’s more than I can stand, especially as radio and TV hucksters harass me ... (Continue reading)

Death wish

“Fear not,” Dingwall said, when I complained about the Supreme Court’s invalidation of the law against physician-assisted suicide. “What do you mean ‘fear not’?” I replied. “The learned judges are turning compliant doctors into legally approved merchants of death.” “They turned into that when the unlearned politicians legalized limited abortion and the Supreme Court removed the limits.” “In both cases,” I conceded, “the Court ruled that the existing laws violated the right to life, liberty and security of the person. However, by doubling ... (Continue reading)

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A gas for all seasons

Light is Right Joe Campbell As I used to compose them, headlines rarely excite me. Recently, though, I read one that did. It said Climate change could be the cause of record cold. I was excited because my meteorological mentors also call climate change global warming. As both labels contain the same number of letters, the headline writer might as easily have typed Global warming could be the cause of ... (Continue reading)

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