Off to school

My Darling Michael:

It is hard for me to believe that you will be starting Grade 1 soon. I remember so vividly the day you were born, the first time you said "mama" and the joy I felt when I became your teacher. Now I am feeling the sadness of you going to school. I am so glad that your dad and I chose to take you out of school when I went on maternity leave earlier this year. Since I was your teacher in kindergarten, withdrawing you from the program when I left and teaching you at home was a great opportunity. This opportunity turned into an amazing sixth-month learning experience for both of us. When I was teaching you at school, I was often amazed by the observations you made, the hypotheses you shared and the way you acquired knowledge. Watching and teaching you daily in a classroom environment gave me a lot of insight about you.

However, the past six months showed me how much I was missing.You have blossomed and grown so much over this time. You have been lucky enough to have a taste of what every child deserves - being at home and learning with his family. We have been blessed with the opportunity for me to teach you since you were two years old. Unfortunately, the majority of that time was spent in a formal care setting.

Now, with a new school year almost upon us, and an uncertainty over whether I will need to return to work in January, you will be going off to be taught by someone else. You are going to Patrick's school, where we are familiar with the teachers, the routines and the philosophy. It is a place where I know you will be taught in a caring and responsive environment and where I believe you will continue to learn and grow. However, it will not be the same. You openly express your frustration over having to go to school. You cannot comprehend why, if I am staying at home, you can't stay here and learn more with me. My heart melts when you look at me with your big blue eyes and so innocently say, "But mom, I don't need to go to school. Look at all you have taught me already." It is with much sorrow that I must keep repeating that, for now, my love, school is the choice.

As parents there are many times in life when we just want to hold our children close and not let them go. This is one of those times. I know you will be okay. I know there will still be many opportunities for me to teach and work with you to enhance and extend the knowledge and skills you are working on at school. I know, as a parent, that I will always be a teacher to you. I just wish I could still be your teacher.

When you head off to school, I know I will be standing behind crying. They will be tears of joy, sadness and pride. Joy for all we have been given. For the time we have had at school together and the extra gift of these past six months. Sadness for the passage of time that must take place, but that is not always the way we would like it. Pride that as my two boys head off to school together, I can trust in the knowledge that they are very independent, respectful and caring human beings.

You are setting off on a new journey in your life and like many journeys, the unknown can seem overwhelming. Although I will not physically be with you throughout the day, always remember and trust that I am in your heart as you are in mine. May your school year be filled with peace and happiness.