Chastity: best choice for intimate relations before marriage
Laurinda Lee of Loretto Abbey Catholic secondary school in Toronto won the inaugural Knights of Columbus, Humber Valley Council, essay contest. The theme was "Chastity: the optimal choice for intimate relations prior to marriage."
By Laurinda Lee
I never noticed the signs of change until one day, as I was walking through Shoppers Drug Mart in search of paper towels, I noticed, hanging casually in plain view, an entire section devoted to the selling of condoms. I stopped in horror and glanced uneasily at my 11-year-old brother who blinked at me innocently and continued his nonchalant account of an exceptionally interesting day. Although he was obviously unaffected by the open display of contraceptives, the issue remained with me for quite some time to come. It disturbed me because it marked not only a poignant break with tradition in regards to sexual activity, but also a drastic decline in public morality and virtue; the unreserved promotion of condom usage in such a public place fundamentally degraded sexual intercourse by making its practice available to all potential age groups.
Admittedly, social values have changed so dramatically that sex is no longer regarded as a sacred expression of intimacy in marriage, but as a means of satisfying temporary urges of lust and self-gratification. However, engaging in sexual intercourse prior to marriage hinders our ability to establish intimate relationships with potential friends and even partners as sex becomes the sole basis for a relationship and ultimately serves to act as a substitute for the emotional and intellectual intimacies typical of lasting relationships.
One of the primary reasons why sexual intercourse has long since been reserved for those individuals who have already devoted their lives in marriage is because sex, if taken too lightly, could cause one to forget the necessity of true intimacy in a relationship. Relationships between individuals should essentially be based on connections pertaining to the soul - emotions, intellect, and dreams. Those individuals who engage in sexual intercourse before establishing personal connections generally overlook the lack of intimacy above a physical level. They ignore the fact that sex alone does not guarantee knowledge of the other person nor does it promise a lasting, or even successful, relationship.
Sex, however, continues to play a dominant role in society. Sexual activity among youths has experienced a sharp increase over the last few decades and is no longer reserved for marriage. Indeed, public attitudes towards sexual intercourse has slackened so significantly, that youths no longer view sex prior to marriage as being a violation of moral codes and they engage in it as eager, willing participants. How far will society let them go? It is a disturbing question, but it hangs forever in the air. As these teens represent the future, it is important to consider how big of an influence virtue holds over their lives. Such a lack of reverence for one of life's most beautiful moments serves to demonstrate a severe decline in appreciation for the sacred and a deliberate disregard for morality.
Abstinence should, therefore, be the preferred choice among partners prior to marriage, simply because of the intimacies it would serve to foster. Although the media promotes sexual activity by proclaiming its supposed acceptability, intercourse outside the context of marriage is wrong. Sex has serious implications if taken too lightly. The eternal laws that have long governed its practice were fundamentally implemented for society's well being. Those laws declared that sexual relations should not be indulged in prior to marriage and they were devised so as to ensure the establishment of truly intimate and lasting relationships between individuals. Sexual intercourse has always been and should remain a sacred act reserved exclusively for a husband and wife because it preserves and enhances already established forms of intimacy.
