Here we go again.
Honestly, sometimes you just have to laugh at the purveyors of death. I couldn't make this stuff up even if I tried. To the delight of any columnist, the merry band of right-to-die folks continue their comic antics at inventing the "holy grail" of suicide machines.
In the month of November an exciting top-secret right-to-die conference took place that included participants from as far away as Australia and Germany.
Held in beautiful downtown Seattle, John Hofsess and his band of merry men and women brandished the new weapons for the right-to-die movement. Designed for a world where euthanasia and doctors killing their patients are still illegal, the trade show was the result of much cash and R&D.
The conference was put on by the Self-Deliverance New Technology Group (NuTech), a fledgling organization that consists of reps from pro-euthanasia groups around the world.
Of note is the involvement of Rev. George Exoo, a Unitarian minister from West Virginia who helps run an organization called Compassionate Chaplaincy. Exoo brags about the number of folks he has "helped" to die.
Exoo tells us that one of the patients he helped kill used a tank of helium, a hose and a plastic bag over the patient's head. This wonderful process took just two minutes.
"We're getting better at it all the time," Exoo explains. "It's getting faster, smoother, gentler, cheaper."
Exoo adds: "We consider these to be spiritual events,"
Here is where you and I chuckle. Helium, as any child knows, causes one's voice to change somewhat dramatically. How spiritual is it for granny or grandpa to speak their last words sounding like Mickey Mouse?
Anyway, these folks are deadly ernest. Hofsess, the colorful leader of the Right-to-Die Network of Canada, was the one who perfected the plastic bag method of killing. It even has a Velcro strip.
A report on the conference, printed in the Seattle Times, provides further proof of the participants' dedication to the cause: "The one thing they're all looking for is something that works. Something that has virtually no rate of failure. Something that doesn't offend family members. Something that will leave no sign for suspicious medical examiners or, God forbid, prosecutors."
Once, Exoo and Koss say, their attempt to help a woman die with one of the devices failed. "We felt horrible," Exoo says.
"People say, `Don't you feel horrible' (helping people die)?"
Only when the attempt fails, Exoo answers. "Otherwise, we feel elated, because we've released them from pain."
Such stories of botched, back-alley assisted suicides reminds one of the arguments given to push the legalization of abortion.
But that's another story. Meanwhile it is comforting to know that these folks have abandoned the political process and are spending their time being the ghouls that they are - just being themselves, that is.
And you thought Halloween was in October!
This is one area where I think the best defense is to laugh. The right-to-die folks are so deadly about being taken serious, yet their antics beg a humorous response.
So praise the Lord and pass the laughing gas. But you'd better adjust that mask yourself.